I Once Slept in Heaven

I slept in heaven
And dreamed
Of us, lips locked
Romancing wild
Urgent whispers
Blazing passion
Unlike what
Any other duo
In love had ever
Known, or so
It seemed, until
It crept on me
Throwing me
Right off guard
Off balance
Upside down
I was hung, with
My whole world.

Not sure if I
Heard you right
That things end
Tonight, that
We are done
Tonight, that
I better get out
Of sight. Well,
Who was I kidding?
Dreams were but
A refuge, where
I escaped to,
Shutting you out
Yes, both of you
For ‘she’ exists.

Perfection was
How I defined ‘us’
The way everyone
Recognized ‘us’
In ignorant bliss
I sat in your lap
On my ‘throne’
While she ruled
Your bleeding heart
I had titles once
‘Darling, my dear
Oh cute little lover’
Boy, how I pranced,
Childish joys, and
Kept on bragging
My man, unaware
Of developments
All around me.

Fine print, damn
Always unread
Until the moment
They point it out
In this case, you.
You read it out.
I repeat after you
All the reasons
I am to blame
For you failing
On your promises.
‘You are paranoid,
You have trust issues,
You are emotional,
Vulnerable, lost.’
If I had no cause
For complaint, ever,
Pray tell me why
You have that
Look in your eye?!

I signed up for love
Crazy, pure love
Unashamed love
But just ‘our’ love
Not unexpected,
Outside love.
Not ‘her’, no.
I fell for you
Prayed for you
Lived for you
And now you
Want me to
Die too, for you.
Of course you
Won’t say it loud
But I can hear it
Clear alright, that
I wasn’t thrown out
Just brushed aside
Gently, slowly, as
I slept in heaven
And dreamed. Well,
I won’t, anymore.