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The Phoenix

Amidst the ruins of a soot-coated soul
A fledgling Phoenix now tests its wings
What yielded to the ravages of dismay
Resurrects itself again for the game

It spits out the ashes and clears its throat
Thumping its chest in a triumphant cry
Nay, Destiny, stand not and titter at me
Share my wings and we shall fly high

The fruit of life is ripe for the picking
Crane your neck and look heavenwards
While resigned sighs have all burned out
Hope still shines bright among stars

When deprived of love, love some more
When worry comes knocking, hand it a cup of tea
If time stamps its feet, teach it patience
And train your tears to flow in joy

That ancient despair stands not a chance
If you head home, Spirit, to waiting arms
Duties are lining out there for us to do
Let us arise and give the world our best

It’s been long since we put on a good show
Aloud cries the Phoenix, rearing to go

spirit

Unrequited Love

Fathomless eyes
Stray not an inch
From the epicentre
Of merciless flames
Drawn like moths
Into the brazen heat
Of tragic expression
Willing to perish
Feelings squirm in shame
And writhe in pain
A whole heart carved out
By sharp knives
Into illegible font
Etched on cheap paper
Verses scream stories
At the molten face
Even sealed lips fail
To halt the flow
Of a bleeding love
Ink and parchment
Compose an ironic eulogy
To the life that was
Betrayed by its master
Ambrosia it seemed
Until partaken of
Such scheming hope
The letter a testimony
Surrendering to red logs
That feed the blaze
In an empty house
Remains of love
Lay charred beyond recognition
As the poor thing chokes
And burns to ashes
Taking truth with it
No one need ever know
About the gift
Of mind, heart, and soul
Returned without a note

love

Grandma, did you have to go?

How I loved resting my burdened head
In the harmless cocoon of your lap
You watched over me quietly as I slept
Just guarding the serenity of my nap
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

How you waited calmly on the porch
Not one reprimand, no phone call
No reminder that I was carelessly late
Yet, your anxious eyes would say it all
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

After evaluating my crumb-littered plate
You frowned that I wasn’t eating enough
I rubbed my belly and pleaded for mercy
You piled more helpings of sumptuous stuff
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

You had such a vast repertoire of stories
Picking one of those each night to tell me
Even if you retold one, it still felt new
Uniquely laced with wonder, terror, glee
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

Your weathered palms were most kind
I can’t even describe the way I would feel
Even if the world collapsed around me
Gentle palms would soothe and heal
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

Bereft of your beaming toothless smile
Feathery frame that I could twirl around
Deprived of the words to make my day
I want to be swallowed by the ground.
Oh grandma, did you have to go?

Yes, it must sound real selfish of me
Demanding that you stay here forever
When you probably had more kids to meet
Shower on them the light of your star
And yet grandma, did you have to go?

Grandma

The Diary in the Attic

Within a pile of pages
Lies hidden, forgotten,
The story of my life
My best and worst years
Truths, hopes, fears
The ones who knew it are gone
But they only saw parts of it
Never the full picture
I forget why I wrote
Perhaps, in confession
Maybe I went unheard for long
Or was scared to share myself
Yes, I was hard to understand
But I found it harder to talk
I was, probably
Too deep to bother digging
Too twisted to unravel
I gave up trying to connect
And they gave up on me
Too soon, and that hurt
I withered away in misery
Anyway, I wrote
At length, for someday
Someone else might
Sneak up to an attic to hide
And find in me a friend
My words a solace
My experiences a lesson
For I have things to say
About what I never did
But should have, could have
To survive and thrive
I could be a confidante
I think I will be, soon
Footsteps like thunder
A teenager in agony
Barges into dusty emptiness
Restless, furious, hurt
And thankfully, alone
I was her, once, but
She must not become me
A master hand waves
And my book falls open
It’s time to start.

the_confidante_2012_A3L

No Apologies

Love the way you love yourself
No apologies
You know you have it
Magic
Cast your spells
Just by walking past

Love the way you walk
Talk, without saying a word
Saying things to me I can’t believe
I imagined or heard

You are the kind of mystery
I can never make sense of
I am happy to float on my cloud
While you laugh it off

Love the way you love yourself
No apologies
You know you have it
Enigma
Charm my heart
Just by walking past

Love the way you stand
Quiet, in a world of your own
Reigning over a kingdom
I have never known

You are the kind of prize
I dream of winning
I am going to earn you
Or I will die, trying

Love the way you love yourself
No apologies
You know you have it
My soul
You claimed it
Just by walking past

Love

“Why?”
He stopped pacing and looked at her as if she’d just asked him to count every leaf on every tree in the Old Place. “Because… you’re you.” ― Anne Bishop

P.S. Song recommendation. Sia – Salted Wound

A Promise to Myself

Is the morning numb, or is it just me,
Simply lost in a mist of melancholy,
Beneath a canopy of “I understand”

Must I grin and meet my day? Yes, but
I know the truth for what it is, I am
Missing your music in my ears, already

Silence clasps my palms for a while,
A lil’ apologetic, for having to fill in
For someone that took words away

You gave me a hug of promises plenty
A tender kiss that said so much, so soon
I stood there waving at you, and then

The tears that waited so far, patient,
Slipped down, and I wiped every trace
Of overwhelming and blinding fright

My lips sealed themselves shut, lest I
Should do the stupid thing, and scream
That I just cannot stay away, OH NO!

I tell myself instead, a day will come
When this emptiness gives up on me
To make way, for your homecoming

And then I will show them all, I will,
These lingering sighs and everyone
That their time is up, loud and clear

That you are mine, and you are here
That we were in love, and we still are
Until then, dear, I promise, I will wait

Promise

Let Them Come

They will come for you
Brace yourself
No running, no hiding
You are better than that
Deserve to defend
The fire in your eyes
The heart in your body
The thoughts in your head
The faith in your soul
For you have done no wrong
Never a con
Never sly intent
Only innocent, naive
So you owe yourself love

Let them come for you
Embrace yourself
No whining, no crying
You are more than that
Deserve to avenge
The love you put out there
The pride you set aside
The trust you offered freely
The dream you cast adrift
You owe yourself cleansing
And then, a hero’s welcome
Loud, clear, rousing

Let them come for you
Raise yourself
No stopping, no sighing
You are stronger than that
Do not pretend
It didn’t hurt
It didn’t sting
It didn’t stun
For it threw you off balance
Snatched a moment from life
It had to happen, though
For you to see yourself
To rise and shine
Believe in the design
Of fate’s skilled hand
And meet its demand

If you were wounded
‘Twas so you could learn to heal
If you were betrayed
‘Twas so you could open your eyes
It was meant to be a hard lesson
So that, when they come for you
Again, as they plan to,
You will know better
Than to let yourself down
Let them come for you
Let them come

Lion

What Really Matters

It was an ordinary, tired afternoon
The clouds had stopped moving
Not a bird willing to croon
Nothing at all was happening
And we simply lay indoors
Limbs lazing on a worn-out sofa
Undisturbed by thoughts,
Sounds, time in general
In a place we only shared
With the humdrums essential
Ear buds, couple o’ books, a soda
Random crumbs uneaten
Nothing to post online even

All that seemed slightly alive
On that day, at a quarter to five
Was an old movie we loaded to VLC
Small talk, laughter, very easy
On the eye, ear, mind, soul
Nothing going out of control
We lay there just watching
As, in the most routine setting
The characters grew appealing
The girl picked up her old guitar
With a song she wrote for him
Him who would be gone so far
Only, he wouldn’t, after this!
Love wasn’t something one would miss
The way he sat, under spell of melody
Was exactly how we too sat, to see
Absorbing with ear, eye, and soul
Truth about what makes one feel whole

Simple things of the everyday
Stuff we do, words we may not say
Not the rigmarole of fancy dinners
But little moments that emerge winners
The laughter over a private joke
A silly love letter one once wrote
The grunts of acknowledgments
Nods of disapproval
The pretend-nothing-happened times
The we’re-in-this-together times
Walks to cherish, and homecomings
Doing nothing on long evenings
Just a touch that conveys so much
Confessions, intimacy, holding hands
Dreams fickle as castles in sands
Things to recall in later years
Stuff that may move one to tears

In fact, sitting there, that hot afternoon
Just when we thought nothing was happening
We stumbled upon to find the surprising
Basic, unchanging truth of life
The meaning of heartbeat, being alive
That without the glory of royalty
How precious life still can be!
With the ones we love in our world
So don’t let the obvious go unheard
This is the one thing that really matters
Without some kind of love, life is in tatters.

And just like that, we snuggled closer.
The afternoon was ordinary no longer.

Simple Things

Amber Irises

Owner of amber irises
And my inner recesses
You kindle lustful fires
Of long dormant desires
Just one look brings alive
My opalescent fantasies
Like a primal prophecy
I once lay low, buried
Not sure if I would survive
Now I give way to need
As amber pilfers my soul
Every pore is on a roll
I am ravenous tonight
I cannot put up a fight

My senses are saturated
Yet you toy with them
Making me inebriated
Foolish thoughts soar
There is such an uproar
You mess with my head
And my poised exterior
With amber on the prowl
My camouflage cries foul
You pry open my heart
I am naked, in and out
With pride, yet without
I am swallowed by flames
You are the one to blame

Smother me with caresses
You, owner of amber irises
Look at the stormy night
It permits me to be held tight
I salute your easy power
Submit myself as a lover
And renounce my modesty
This is me in all honesty
Tamed beneath your gaze
And yet, I am set ablaze
You dictate my movements
Self-control is past tense

I drown in amber deluge
Where might I seek refuge?
Claim my quivering body
I have never been more ready
Glorify me with touch
And one kiss too much
Behold my writhing self
In dire need of your help
Infuse into me your energy
Let us dance with synergy
Pour on me fluid gold
Amber has taken hold

Amber Eyes

A Call to Hope

Lone swinging lantern
In my heart’s dungeon
I need your presence
To dispel the darkness
Of despairing thought
This is not what I sought
Spread your warm rays
Help me save face

I beseech in humility
Life laughs at my frailty
I am too weak to stand tall
In fact, to stand at all
I bow to your powers
For nothing else remains
I have not one rescuer
Matching your stature

If you heed this call
I might still survive
Only you can revive
My bent, resigned spirit
Give me but one hint
And I know I will thrive

There has to be a reason
For this state of affairs
I am tried for treason
Yes, I did betray my heart
Stupid logic played its part
Is this what was in store?
Such a clean dismissal
Why a judgment so cruel?
I am not what I was before

My heart can have its way
And I promise not to stray
From paths it recommends
Even if it makes no sense
It does know what I need
Even if in my greed
I went for what I want
This is here to haunt
And ruin my sanity, unless
You with your purity
Choose to intervene
And this I really mean

I take a vow, to never bow
To mind against the soul
Respect shall be my role
Come forth, bring clarity
Save me from self-pity
Touch and heal my injury
Pull me out of penury
In this moment of torment
No one else I want near
But you, hope, my saviour
Come please, I need you here

Hope

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