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Help! Parent on Facebook

No, marriage is not the dreaded thing anymore. Shoo! New monster on the block. The parent is on Facebook!

You must have surely heard this one. A boy posts a new status on Facebook. “Dad’s on Facebook. WTF” Dad naturally sees the post and asks, scribbling notes in his head, “What’s WTF son?” Son says, “Welcome to Facebook, dad!”

Remember how you almost gave up the habit of keeping a diary just because a parent found it so convenient to read through it and interrogate you about the stuff, most of which you didn’t share with them for a damn good reason?!

Well, mom casually announced, “I am on Facebook dear; added you; let me know when you accept it.” I went ballistic! Social media was a place I could express whatever I wanted to, I mean without having mom or dad raise eyebrows. Now it seemed a lot of eyebrow-raising would happen. I quickly went to work. Filter, filter, add to a list that’s not restricted enough to arouse suspicion, but allows only the lovely, adorable pictures and updates to be seen and like. Ha!

I went to that party and mom did not know; photo filter! I was with some friends she would probably mentally marry me off to, or forbid me from meeting; filter, filter!

A half hour later, I was wiping off sweat and wondering if I should review my changes. Bah, let it be. Just one person added and a custom filter set. Cool!

And then the unhappenable happened! One of my friends had tagged me and HER privacy settings were obviously non-functional. “I saw that photo of that disco. I didn’t know you went to such places. What will happen if xyz uncle/aunt sees these things about you?!” Excuse me, they are all getting on Facebook too? Boy! I give up! Mom, this is the kid you didn’t know you had!

Over the next few days, I see her faithfully liking every post she can see on my page, and saying innocent momly things like “Put on warm clothes or you will catch a cold”, or often assuming I actually wrote some fantastic article that I just happened to ‘share’ on my wall. She reposts my stuff on her wall saying ‘My daughter’s poem’, ‘My daughter’s picture’. Dozens of elderly ladies and gents immediately lavish praise all over her wall. And then send me friend requests. Sigh! I get to work, putting up a photos.com picture that says, “Keep calm and love mom.” One immediate like.

Thank God she hasn’t seen my blog yet. Let me take the chance to ask you all for pointers on how to politely turn off notifications because half my newsfeed is full of posts on God, kindness, cleanliness, babies, puppies, flowers, trees, the works! And the inevitable “Did you read that post of mine I posted an hour ago? Yes, not the one I posted half an hour ago, not even the one I posted just now.”

Help; I still want my mom to whip up goodies for me, boo hoo!

P.S. Parent on WhatsApp and the dreaded blue tick…deserves another post altogether!

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The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Thank you Lillian, for having me share this space with those who belong to the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award group. I admit it has taken a long time, but they are here! My responses to all your questions!

  1. Honestly speaking would you rather have money or happiness?
    I would have said money if I found peace in it. Truth is, I have only found peace when I used my money to make someone smile, so I would say happiness is my choice.
  2. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
    Tons! I have tales to fill a book, trust me. Ever happened to you? You are at a mall and you think you are talking to the person you have come with, but all the while it was someone else standing next to you, minding their own business as you rambled on and on?
  3. Do you believe in a God/Gods?
    I don’t believe in a fancily-dressed God, but I do believe that someone out there is making note of our sincerest prayers. How else would they come true just when you tried and tested everything else and resigned yourself to the worst?
  4. If you could own any piece of art what would it be?
    Starry night, Van Gogh.
  5. Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time?
    Hopefully alive and traveling around the world, 10 years older. C’mon, I cannot answer questions like a soothsayer! 🙂
  6. What would you have for your last meal?
    Chocolate. One last sin 😉
  7. How many piercings/tattoos do you have if any?
    I plan to have at least one, soon.
  8. If you could spend a day with anyone dead or alive who would it be?
    A tête-à-tête with the voice in my head. I want her to step out and face me when she gives me that annoying-‘cause-she-is-right advice.
  9. What’s the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
    ‘You ought to take care of yourself too, once in a while, you know.’
  10. Favorite song of all time?
    This is tough! But I have fallen in love with ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol.

I would like to ask the same questions to the folks here:
http://chocolatenchaturangas.com/
http://thewhisperingpen.com/
https://thedeviantdaydreamersays.wordpress.com/
https://elusiveconquests.wordpress.com/
https://myoverflowingthoughts.wordpress.com/

Please take the bait! 😉 I would love to read your answers too.

girl

P.S. Any other reader who wants to give it a shot, please do and let me know!

Daddy Dearest

A father is not superman. He is mostly ordinary, with an average way of life, family, and the occasional bad habit or weakness. He is mortal, and so I will not wax eloquent about the qualities of the super-dad. No, he is most likely incapable of bashing up the baddies or saving lives when the scary villain turns up. Who is he, then?

Assuming you are among the blessed ones, ‘dad’ is the man who fell in love with your mother, and committed his heart to her for life. Dad is the one who dreamed of ‘starting a family’ with your beaming mother; he is the one who was perhaps required to think of how they would manage expenses with a kid or more around the corner. He must have bitten off his nails as your mother went into labour, with the entire household fussing over her. Well, to tell you the truth, folks probably fussed over her all nine months, assuming that the would-be dad was doing fine, no tension and no sweat for him.

Your dad was the one who held you as you slept, as your mother slept. He perhaps worried that you looked too fragile to be true! Handing you over to your mother, he must have gazed anxiously and attentively while the doctor went on and on about caring for you.

Your dad must have looked into places he never bothered about before, like schools and day-care centres, to help your mother decide where the kids will have it best. He is the man who may have kicked one or two bad habits, or promised to stop swearing around the house on his rough days because the kids should not be exposed to the bad world at their tender age. While your mother reigned over the household, acknowledged by all as the parent supreme, dad fumbled around to see how he could make life more comfortable for all of you. He was often the villain disciplinarian when your mother was the loving angel, or the parent who enjoyed fooling around a bit while your mother tried her best to officially instill good principles and mannerisms.

Your dad got you a bike, or took you walking if he couldn’t get you one. You probably held on to his little finger so tight because you did not want him to leave you, ever. Dad introduced you to the world in his own way. Perhaps taught you a few things unknowingly. Maybe you started scanning the newspaper just to see why he loved to read it right in the morning, and he patted your back when you read the headlines aloud with the emphasis only a child can offer to reading material. Perhaps he caused you to win the school race just by constantly telling you that you were capable of it alright. It could be that he did not know how to prepare you for a fancy dress contest, but he was right there, cheering you when you went on stage. The poor thing must have cringed to himself when he told you he could not make it to your big event sometimes because, of course, his boss HAD to get the report that very day. How bad it must have felt for him to break the news to the eager kid demanding his attention in the sweetest way possible!

Your dad is the one who may admonish you at home all the time, but will praise you to other parents. He may have seemed distant, choosing to peek into the little aspects of your daily life only when he saw an impending problem that needed action, or was informed of a ‘situation’ requiring intervention. He might not be the epitome of patience, but he sure did repeat things to you when you tugged at his sleeve wanting the explanation all over again. He carried you on his shoulders in the parade so you would have the best view, even when he had to wade through sweaty crowds. Dad is the one who told you off if your manner was whiny, or instructed you to be brave when you were at the doctor’s for getting those nasty stitches. He probably ran pillar to post to get things done for you. Who knows, he might have planned to go catch a game live with friends, but ended up babysitting you in his time off from work, and you took the chance to throw every possible tantrum.

Dad can be part-Hitler part-Santa part-Goofy, and you cannot figure him out half the time! You often wondered if you were important to him at all, judging him wrongly on his grunting or nodding or hmm-ing in conversations, when all the while, he considered you an integral part of his soul. Sometimes you might have been embarrassed about him making jokes that only he found funny, or giving your friends the lecture about their lives when they showed up at your door. Dad just feels good when he knows he is needed, and you most certainly did not assure him of that as you grew older. You probably dismissed him in that polite yet aloof manner when he wanted to talk to you. Do you remember how he sat and admired your toddler-level drawings for a whole hour as you narrated how the accomplishment came about?

Dad honestly does not expect he deserves your 100% commitment even if he demands it aloud; he probably hopes for 10. Could you give him 5 to see the smile on his face, or hear the familiar grunt of approval? Look beneath the bushy eyebrows and the aging jawline. You will find the proud eyes of a man who is but a little child within. All he needs is you to reassure him that he did not fail as a father, that those little shortcomings did not make him less of a dad. For while mothers are the angels heaven sent down, dads are also the fierce guardians of their flock. “My daddy may not be the strongest, but he is still my daddy dearest.”

FathersDay

Finding Me

I stand at the threshold
Of a chaotic universe
I’m committed to see it
While escorting a babble
Of doubts and some blues
Like unwelcome guests
If only they were absent
But then, it’s a chance
I’m told is ‘heaven-sent’
So biting my fears down
I step into a labyrinth
Seeking some resolution
The answers to a future
I’m told I ‘certainly own’.

And what did I expect?
It is dark and muddy!
But no point hovering, so
I make my way forward
A tad gingerly around
My shattered illusions
Scraping mud and grime
Off my poor self-esteem
Often picking up hopes
Half-eaten by distrust
My clothes they tear on
Tiffs and bad thoughts
Ouch! I swallow and sigh
Stumbling on egotism,
Of this one hindrance
I was so duly warned.

Obstacles at every step
Garbage round the bend
It is far from an easy job,
This ‘incredible internship’
And then I recall, that
The brochure also said
I would learn some things
If I just applied myself
The whole of my soul
And so I… I continue
Without a guidebook
Only a heavy backpack
Of curious possibilities…

I fumble for my notes
Made the night before
In astonishing clarity
Alarmingly rare, that.
Wiggling vanity? Trample it!
Squeaky cynicism? Squash it!
Wary “what-if”? Crush it!
Aching ambition? Nurse it!
Precious memory? Save it!
Lasting love? Pick it!
Feeble faith? Cradle it!
It helps that I prepared
To give this all I had
For the mist soon clears
And I see what I need to
Though it’s not quite
What I expected it to be.

I stand still and solemn
At a mirror labelled “You”
And I find myself in it
Clean and properly shiny
Not a trace of past filth
Nearby, a bin to dump trash
And a bag to carry back
My keepsakes, treasures
Things I was meant to have,
And best of all, I then find
A growing, glowing smile
I trade it for my frown
Excited at what I’ve found.

So this is what it is,
The lesson I must heed
As the clock ticks by, must
Have the time of my life
And so I turn my back
On existence I don’t need
Marching home instead
With a life I’ll proudly lead.

make-the-rest-of-you-life-the-best-of-your-life-580x200

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